Today was a day I was scared of. I had so much anxiety. My mind was running through everything I had done wrong in my life. All this negativity in my life. I have gone through some really horrible things. The two worst were watching my mom die, and being kidnaped and raped.
This anxiety was so overwhelming as the sisters walked me to the door to go in to the baptismal font, we prayed and I almost started to cry I had so much anxiety.
I walked in and the water was so warm, I could feel the warm water seeping up the jumpsuit. (Not forgiving on a plus size woman, nor attractive) I walked in, I looked at my boyfriend who was baptizing me, and I looked up. I heard my name being said by him and plugged my nose. I had all this fear..
I came up out of the water. Pushed the hair and water off my face and walked out. The sisters were waiting there for me. This peace washed over me. Drying myself off I was shedding all these wet layers. Every layer I took off I felt lighter and lighter. My spirit feeling amazing!
When the president was doing his talk and looking at me, every word was from our Heavenly Father. I can't remember all the words but just this feeling that I am with my new family. All this love I felt the first time I walked in has only intensified.
All the hugs and shaking of hands was amazing after. All these people welcoming in. It was like a family reunion.
Getting in the truck to dive home this peace has washed over me. I feel so renewed. I can't wait to get out of the truck and hug my boyfriend. I can't wait to gather my children in my arms and love them. I can't wait for them to feel this peace.
This truly is a feeling that can't be described in words. There are no words in the English language to express this feeling I have inside.
I hear a voice and he called me redeemed.
Greater is the one who is living inside of me then he who is living in the world.
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