My kids are also crazy. It's been hard with discipline and working in my anger. I joined a 12 step group as well as I know I need help with my anger and how to have a proper relationship. I'm messed up from my ex husband. The sexual and emotional abuse. The feeling like everything is my fault even if it's not.
Plus I'm Canadian, we say sorry a lot! Like we always apologize even if it's not our fault. Makes it hard as I feel like everything going on is my fault even if it's not.
I'm trying hard to have this relationship with my boyfriend be good, and healthy. We have started praying when we get together and then again when we leave. It's hard as I'm used to a much more physical relationship and staying true to the laws of chastity are hard. Many times I feel like I'm going to close to the edge or going over then I feel guilty and self destructive.
I also hate fighting with someone I love. And truly I do love this man. He is amazing. But it's a big difference talking about helping with 3 kids and how to discipline them then actually living there and doing it day after day.
I'm just exhausted. I'm drained. I'm in so much pain. I have been maxed out on otc painkillers for 2 weeks, now in maxed out on prescription painkillers and it still hurts.
It doesn't help that I have filming in my house for a documentary my family is in, and I need to clean my kids play room, and I can't even lift a can of pop or my iPhone in my bad arm without pain.
Today in morning prayers I cried out to Heavenly Father and asked why am I having to do this alone? Asking for help. It's really hard with 3 little kids all by yourself. I want that eternal companion that can be there for me, the one who can tag me out and say sweetie I have it, it's ok.
I'm trying very hard to remember in my blessing I revived this week that Heavenly Father will surround me like a blanket.
I have damaged both my rotator cuffs. Repeatedly. Once, both at the same time, so I know whereof you speak.
ReplyDeleteA great reference book is THE 7 MINUTE ROTATOR CUFF SOLUTION.
(I will provide a video link below.)
Another thing that helped me that is not always mentioned ...I took one of those tensor bandages and wrapped it around my sore shoulder in layers, then did one wrap across my back to the good shoulder and secured it.
Then I helped someone move. And it worked.
So that, combined with the pain killers might help you.
Talk to your doctor about the book and the video below before you try any of the exercises.
The other thing I would like to say is that in the midst of the sexual and emotional abuse, you took comfort where you could.
So you took comfort in the physical.
Heavenly Father is directing you to and helping you to obtain comfort in a long lasting and satisfying way.
So is your boyfriend! The guy is a hero!
Your kids acting up is because their comfort...how they knew it, was disrupted. Even though your ex was abusive.
Keep praying for them and with pray with them.
Much like yourself, they need to find the real and lasting comfort which only comes from the Spirit being in your home.
So...self-destructive will not help the Spirit to be in your home.
Don't do your abuser's work FOR him.
He tried to destroy you, and you escaped.
So where is the wisdom is destroying yourself on his behalf?
Not fun.
And...
You cried out in prayer to Heavenly Father and asked why you have to do this alone?
1. If your husband was not abusive, you would not be alone. You yourself know it is better to be alone than to be in an abusive relationship.
2. Until you shed the anger and issues caused by your abusive ex, you will destroy your new relationship with your hero boyfriend. He does not deserve that and neither do you.
3. You have your boyfriend to help.
4. Yes, your boyfriend is not there to help 24/7, but things need to happen in wisdom and in order.
5. That takes PATIENCE. Which is an essential part of healing. Not only for your shoulder, but for healing from the abuse.
6. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Heavenly Father told you that He will surround you like a blanket.
Sorry, forgot to provide the video like above, so I will provide it here. (Talk to your doctor first.)
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6xWXhg638w