She is gone.
I hurt more then anything.
I need her now more then anything.
I never felt more alone then that moment when she died. When for hours before I sat by her side holding her hand counting her breaths. Watching her chest rise and fall. Getting the nurses to give her pain medication when I noticed she was in pain.
But now she is gone. Im here. Im the one in pain. But there is no medication for the pain of a broken heart. It hurts so bad. I just want to feel peace. I hurt beyond anything. But there is no pain medication, or any medication that can fix it.
Deep down I know that I will see her again. I know she loves me more then anything. I know she is happy and whole on the other side. I know she is able to walk, that she can talk again, that she has full movement. But that does not make it any easier for those of us left behind.
I remember on her birthday last year when I spread her ashes in mexico and it started to rain after, and as we were driving out of the jungle the rain stopped and there was a swarm of butterflies. We got out of the car and the butterflies flew around us. There was more types of butterflies then i had ever seen in my life.
I know she is free like a butterfly and able to fly free...
Thank you to Sol of Del Sol Photography for taking these amazing photos
What Is This Thing Man Calls Death?
ReplyDeleteMusic from the Ensign
1. What is this thing that men call death
This quiet passing in the night?
’Tis not the end but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light.
2. O God, touch Thou my aching heart
And calm my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.
3. There is no death, but only change,
With recompense for vict’ry won.
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy One.
Text: Gordon B. Hinckley
Music: Janice Kapp Perry
(Gordon B. Hinckley was Prophet and President Gordon B. Hinckley.)
“May the peace and comfort of our Father in heaven bring its healing influence to all who are called upon to mourn and to bear affliction.”
We of this Church have been told of the Lord that before we came to this earth we had a life running back to the remotest stretches of eternity; that as spirits we lived out an existence before we came here, in which we prepared ourselves for life on the earth; that then, having kept our first estate, we came to this earth to obtain knowledge, wisdom, and experience, to learn the lessons, suffer the pains, endure the temptations, and gain the victories of mortality; that when our mortal bodies give up life, our spirits return to take up again the spirit life which we left to come to earth life, and we thereafter go on, building upon the achievements of our first spirit-life, our first estate, and of our mortal life, or second estate, progressing through the endless eternities that follow, until we reach the goal the Lord set: “Be ye perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” [Matthew 5:48.] Teachings of Elder Heber J. Grant
There is an interesting quote from the 1960 movie "Spartacus" in which the character Antoninus asks Spartacus if he is afraid to die...to which Spartacus replies:"No more than I was to be born."
The best way to heal from the pain and sorrow of the death of your mother is to attend the temple.
The veil between us and the Spirit world is very very thin there.
And you can perform the necessary ordinances for her there.
Joseph Smith taught that the spirits of the just "are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings and motions and are often pained therewith."
Because they WANT us to understand, and work toward celestial glory.