It's over..., time to tick single

So it's officially over. We almost made is 6 months. In 7 days we would have hit that point. 

I have a painting I made him. I poured my heart and soul in to this relationship. I spent many days praying, reading scripture, following that still small voice. 

He was a man I loved so much. He is an amazing man of our Heavenly Father. His smile can light a room, he is great with my children. He was everything I wanted in a man. 

But things had grown a bit distant and today he told me that we were in different place emotionally/physically/spiritually. That he is not ready for marriage, and doesn't know if he will be. That I have my life organized and he dosnt. 

My heart broke today. This is the man I fell in love with. The one I wanted to hold me forever. The one I want to go to the temple with. The one I want to pray to Heavenly Father on vended knee with every night. The one I want to be my forever. To be my love to the moon and back. 

But I love him. But he does not love me in that way. My heart is breaking. In a million little pieces. I have been crying so much since Sunday when I knew this was going to happen that my kids saw me bawling while making the dinner and serving them and they said nothing. 

At dinner prayer my kids blessed the meal and prayed for him. They pray for him every morning and every night. I don't know how my kids are going to take it. My children love this man. My oldest girl was in tears that she was not going to be able to sing him Father's Day song at church as her bio father got Sunday visitation. All three of my children are going to be hurt. I just don't know. 

I feel so hurt. My heart is broken. I don't know if it will heal.