Once you have been in a marriage relationship where you have children, and sex and physical intimacy is the norm. Then all of a sudden there is none? Then it becomes something you crave. I know why our Heavenly Father created Eve. Adam needed that help mate. That person to be his companion.
Over the last three years I have been lonely. This large bed with just myself and occasionally a sick kid. I was used to for 13 years having that partner beside me. When I was sad or hurt he would confirm me. He made me feel good physically. But it's gone. Very gone. And it hurts it's a physical ach.
This Valentine's I have someone special in my life. I'm trying so hard to keep these vows of chastity. I'm not 100% perfect, no one is. I have days where I long to be touched romantically. Where I want to wake up next to this person. Where I just long to be wanted.
From leaving an abusive marriage my views on love and sex are screwed up. I don't know what a normal relationship is. I'm learning. And I have the most amazing man showing me what a true man is like and how he acts.
All I can do is pray for help with chastity, my relationship and try to bring our Heavenly Father in the relationship and have him be the corner stone.
No comments:
Post a Comment