Discipline my children? Future husband?

Today I was out with my boyfriend and my three kids. We went down town to go watch the professional hockey team practice. I knew it was going to be stressful as its only been a few time the kids and my boyfriend have been together and I knew they would act up.

But the moment they acted up and I had to discipline and they were balking at it, and he stepped in and re affirmed everything I said to the kids. That was the minute I knew this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

It was crazy to think that my boyfriend helping me discipline my kids would make me have a response to want to marry him. But oh boy did it. He acted in a smooth calm tone. He asserted that I was the one choosing the punishment. Told the kids that they were not listening and behaving and that was not ok. And then separated the children.  In the car on the way home from down town and they were acting up in the car, in a calm firm voice he spoke up. He was amazing. My son reacts well to when my boyfriend was helping with the discipline. It was crazy to see his tone change.

After we got back and the kids were all in their own rooms on time out we had a talk. We sat and talked and I thanked him for his help, and he said I would always be the one to choose the discipline. I would be the one dishing it out, and he would be there to help me go through with it, there to guide them when they are doing wrong and bring them to me.

This man is amazing. He is cool, he has such a calm personality. Even in the few little tiffs we have gotten in to, he still remains calm. He has this peace about him. My heart just falls for him a little bit more each and every day.

I was speaking with a few of my other LDS mom friends online as well as the sister missionaries. A few questions were brought up.

How does he treat you when he is stressed or having a bad day?

When he is having a bad day he becomes quiet. He turns in. I try to be there for him and yet give him the space he needs. He treats me with respect, he has never raised his voice to me, and he is the type of man that I believe with my whole heart would never raise his voice to me. I hope that I can do the same. I do know I have anger issues that I’m working on, but this man is helping me be a better person.

Does he constantly act like hew would do everything he can to make you happy to the best of his ability?

Constantly act? No this man does everything he can to make sure that I am happy. This man if he has any question that I may be upset, depressed, or angry he will do whatever he can to help me. Could be sending me a txt, a verse, or a funny meme. He is there to talk to me. To make sure that I’m doing ok physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Are there things that are similar between him and your ex?

The only thing that he is like my ex on is a bit of the nerdy type. He is shy like my ex wad in the beginning. But he is different. Every action from this man is done in love. Is done in a way to not hurt me, in a way to show compassion, caring, and Christ like love.

Does he agree with you on how to raise your children or respect your decisions to parent even if he does not agree?

He respects the way I parent my children. If he thinks I’m being pushed around by them he will say. He will suggest things if I’m having issues with them, but never force or say I need to.

Do you both put the gospel first in your daily activates to the same? Or will you need compromise?

I have to admit he puts the gospel first more then I do. But I’m still new in the church and learning. I am an imperfect Mormon. I am a flawed Mormon. But I’m working on it.

How much is going to be your way of his way or a compromise in the marriage with work, home and extended family?

Everything with this man is a compromise. I do think that if we did not agree on something we would both just talk about it, pray about it, and go from there.

Do the kids get along with him? Are there concerns that need to be addressed?

This man is amazing with my children. Firm but good. My kids really like him and today the went and got a hug from him before he left for home.

Am I willing to do anything for him? Is there a point where me and my child comes first?

This man is someone that I have never felt this way for in my life. I would do anything to help him. I would go to the ends of the earth for this man. Its crazy as I have never felt this way for another person. I never even felt this way for my ex husband when we were dating or when we got married. This man is different. Every morning I look at my phone and I have a good night txt as I usually fall asleep txting with him. I send him a good morning txt and I cant wait for his little scripture tid bits or little words of wisdom throughout the day.

This really gives me a lot to think of. I need to pray about this. Pray for wisdom. I need to pray as I know he is not ready for a family, I know he is not in the place where he wants to get married. I don’t even know if he would be willing to accept all the kids. Becoming an instant family is hard. I am also the first single parent he has dated. There has also been pressure from our YSA (Young Single Adults) ward about marriage. So its something that just needs to be taken slow for his sake. He also has some personal issues on his mind effecting his life so I need to take that in to account.

Once again all I can do is pray to Heavenly Father for my future husband. Pray that wherever he is, that heavenly father guide him, keep him safe, and bless him. And pray that my future husband is praying for me too.